Videogame Anecdote #4: The Legend of Zelda

It was a peaceful morning in my peaceful and unassuming village of Kakariko. I could hear the birds singing outside my window, people talking, and my cooking on the stove. I was a happy wife waiting for her husband to come home.

Suddenly, this kid bursts into my house, wearing some sort of green pajamas and a hat, armed with a sword and shield. He looks at me with an expressionless face. Then, without saying a word, he goes to my kitchen and breaks my vases, takes the money hidden in some of them, goes through my drawers, goes into the basement, shatters everything down there, comes back upstairs, slashes at one of my chickens with his sword and fucking sets a bomb next to another. BOOM!

Just as muted as when he came in, he leaves.

What the fuck...

Videogame Anecdote #3: Metal Gear Solid

So I recently got together with this girl who I had met a while ago and whom I thought had a great butt. Meeting this girl meant a huge change in my life as I was not accustomed to living with any other people and now, almost instantaneously, I had a girl living with me at my cabin in the middle of the woods.

Everything was fine at first because it was all fun and games. We could not keep our hands off each other.

Girls are interesting in that they seem to change your surroundings as if by magic. I loved my cabin the way I had it, it was austere and minimalistic. Manly. Out of nowhere, a pillow, then another pillow, then a throw pillow, pillows everywhere. Where do all these damn pillows come from?

I hate it. I hate it because I'm used to the layout of my place and at night when I wake up and have to go to the bathroom, I always walk to it with all the lights turned off and then, unexpectedly, I step on a fucking pillow and I'm all like [!].